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From Dreamer to Director

Horse and rider standing on steps beside it

I have been in the stage of Dreamer for quite some time now. As many of you already know, this vision began stirring in my heart almost 8 years ago. For some of those years, the dreams were quiet and personal, and for other years, it was spoken aloud and shared with others. But, through all that time, it was still a dream, a hope, a desire. In the last year, though, that dream has moved into a reality, and with that change came a change in my view point of the vision. I am no longer simply the Dreamer sharing her dream. As of May 30, 2014, I became the Executive Director of Bright Side Youth Ranch who will need to propel the vision forward in multiple capacities. I am thrilled to be a point in this process where such a position is possible, but I am also completely humbled and feel the overwhelming responsibility this title brings. As I look through the job description the Board of Directors sent me, I feel unworthy and incapable. (And, honestly, a little afraid I'm really going to mess this all up.) So much of it I am already doing or am currently preparing to do, but there are also items listed on there that have to do with the bright and hopeful future for Bright Side. It's one thing to be the Dreamer dreaming of possibilities and quite another thing to be the Director and the driving force of the vision. It's amazing how a simple hire and change in title can change my entire perspective.

While it is undeniably overwhelming for me still, it's good. It's sooo good. It means that the dreams and cries of my heart are coming true and that other people see it and get behind it. It also means that this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with a great big God who makes the impossible possible. I know I can't do this on my own, and that's just where I need to be. It is in my desperation for God to work in me and through me that He can help me be the Executive Director needed to make His vision work. It was never really my dream anyway. It has always belonged to the Ultimate Dreamer, and He is the one who will see it to completion. I'm just praying that I remain open and dependent upon Him so that He can continue to use me. I am willing to play any part in this story, but I am extremely grateful for this role granted to me.

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